My Life in America

What's New in 2012

2012-01-14T08:51:00.003-05:00

Well, 2011 is gone and here we are in a new year. I have not written for a while because things have been very difficult. Ana does not seem to be developing normally. She is failing all her core classes and will have to do seventh grade over again. We have been undergoing testing for learning dissabilities, IQ, comprehension, etc. and she has not done well in any of the tests. This month she will be tested for her listening skills. She has a hard time understanding what is told to her. Not that she doesn't hear, but rather that she misunderstands the commands given or she easily forgets. They also told me she has ADHD and as I wrote last time, RAD is a probably there as well.I think I would be ok dealing with all these mental dissabilities if only she wasn't defiant. That's Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Basically this is just rebellious behavior. She acts out, talks back and thinks she knows what to do, when in fact because of her mental dissabilities her choices are usually the wrong ones. I feel very sorry for her. I keep thinking, we went across this globe to rescue this girl from this horrible life and brought her here where she may very well live the exact kind of life because of her poor decisions. She lacks common sense. She must be watched constantly as if she were six years old. Which probably is closer to her mental age. What is also very hard is that everything she does is self-focused. She cares only for herself - and dogs. She loves dogs in a very weird, unhealthy way. She will cry for a dog that is hurt, but think nothing of children left in her orphanage that are without parents. Or not even acknowledge the ones that live in the streets.Many of these issues I have been unprepared for. If anyone is considering adopting an older child from any Eastern European country, please do much research before making your decision. I believe we were much too naive, ignorant and idealistic and were therefore blindsided by things we never thought would occur.Having said all that, I am not without hope because my God is bigger than all this. At any time He could chose to change all of it. I also covet your prayers for Ana as she is struggling thru this life.

Shocked by R.A.D

2011-06-15T11:59:00.004-04:00

R.A.D. (Reactive Attachment Disorder). "Reactive Attachment Disorder is a very real illness. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder are reacting to events in their early life that may include neglect, abuse, or something more subtle. Due to these events, many children are unable to attach to a primary caregiver."

from http://www.attachmentdisorder.net/What_is_attachment_disorder.htm

I believe this is what Ana has. Ever since she has been with us, she has not been able to adjust to our way of life. I think she cannot bond with us because no one ever bonded with her when she needed it - in her early years. She still lives in a state of defiance. As if to say, I am still here on my own to care for myself and do as I want. All chosen behavior that she is unaware is detrimental to her well-being.

I met with a lady who adopted an older girl from Russia at 8 or 9 who is now twenty one. Throughout her life with her adoptive family she never became one of them. In fact, she did everything possible to disrupt their lives. Ultimately running away at 14 to live on the streets with boyfriends who took advantage of her. There she contracted Herpes, became pregnant three times (giving two up for adoption) and became homeless. Unable to keep a steady job she lives on welfare. In fact, today she lives a very similar life to the life she would have lived if left in Russia. The mom told me that she had been diagnosed with R.A.D.

If anyone is out there considering adopting an older child from these eastern European countries. I caution you to do a lot of research. I would in fact counsel you against it! Especially if you have other kids in the home. These kids come with a lot of baggage that we are simply not prepare to deal with. No matter how much you love them, they don't know what love is, cannot love you back and will make your life very difficult.

I pray every day, for God's help and that He would miraculously change Ana. However, after all I have learned and experienced these past two years, I will not at all be surprised if she too ends up living a life here in America like the one she left behind in Ukraine.

PS: Don't write me to tell me I'm unkind and unloving. This is what I have experienced and I want people to be informed that there is another very ugly and real side to adopting older children.

Adding Some Other Things

2011-05-23T16:18:00.002-04:00

The new picture is from our son's college graduation.

I forgot to mention that I was not homeschooling her any longer. She was placed in Public School in October. She would not do the work I asked her to do. Even though I was doing 4th grade with her -- it was still too hard. I had several meeting with her teachers and she did better with them. But that's not saying much. They dumb down everything in this school. I don't know what other schools are like, but this is nothing like when I was in middle school.. It's scary to see how little these kids are being challenged.

That's a whole other post.

Hello Again

2011-05-23T15:45:00.002-04:00

It seems like forever since I last posted anything. No it was forever... So, please forgive me, if any of you were waiting on an update. Well, here it is.

Ana has had all sorts of tests done and there seems to be NO brain damage that they can detect. All systems seem to be in order. We are thankful all is well - physically. Emotionally, that's a whole different ball game!

It is clear to me that although she is thirteen years old now, Ana's emotional state is that of a 6 or 7 year old. Some of the questions that she poses are very infantile. The things she wants to talk about are things little girls would like to talk about. At the same time her hormones are beginning to kick in and she is attracted to boys -- and of course the wrong ones. Like the ones that get expelled from school!

Her desire to be the center of attention is something very difficult to manage. She can't stop drawing attention to herself, usually by saying something completely inappropriate. Example: Sunday at church we had a special service thanking the peace officers of our town. Many attended and were given plaques as a gift for their service. She called them the "PO - PO". I was upset, but she didn't know what was wrong with that. She has heard it before from her friends at school and she thought it was OK to use in this occasion. Or she will call people "retarded" and such. This is all behavior she has recently picked up at school. She doesn't know it is wrong, until I point it out. However, the thing that gets me, is that I have to point it out several times, before she gets it! Only when she gets a bad consequence, does she stop.

She lives a life full of consequences because she constantly lies, talks back and disobeys. This I think stems from her desire to do what she wants and my desire to let her know she does not rule the house.

Well. I hope to continue writing. I am not in a very good place right now. But I am praying and asking God to help me with my attitude towards her.

If I were to sum it all up for you, here it is: TO ALL THOSE LOOKING TO ADOPT INTERNATIONALLY -- LISTEN UP! Do not get an older child! They indeed come with a whole lot of baggage. Sorry for the capital letters. This is exactly the advice I would give any couple searching to adopt an older child. After all the sacrifice to get this done, your child may not be thankful. Ana certainly is not. At least not now.

More to come...

Some unexpected news...

2010-09-16T16:27:00.004-04:00

It has been a few months since I last wrote and many things have happened. I am homeschooling Ana now. Well, I really never stopped teaching her since summer. I noticed that after school ended she did not do as well as I had expected. So even though she is technically aged at 6th grade, her learning curve is at a 3rd grade level. At first this did not concern me and I just shrugged it off as an English as a Second language difficulty.

Then I started to pay closer attention to a lot of details. Like when I would ask her to do something and then she would "forget" I told her. Or her never ending fidgeting. And then there is her always needing to be the center of attention. The lack of self control. Also not following through with many things. Kind of just doing them half way. Now that I am teaching her I am having to teach her the same thing over and over again. I even have a math tutor coming in three times a week and she too notices that she just isn't "getting it".

I started to pull all of these things together and along with my husband we concluded that she must have a learning disability - separate from the foreign language skills issue.

We planned to see our primary care physician next week for a referral to a specialist, but first we took a four day vacation to Florida. There we went to Busch Gardens and the Kennedy Space Center. Lots of fun for Ana. We also attended the Museum of Science and Industry. There they had a special exhibit entitled, "The Amazing You". A wonderful exhibit about the human body. We saw all stages of development from infancy until death. The most interesting part for us came at the causes of developmental deseases and difficulties portion of the exhibit.

Here they showed us what Fetal Alcohol Syndrome does to a baby in utero. We were shocked to find that Ana had every single one of the behavioral symptoms. Even looking at her closely we could see some physical features as well. Then I put one and one together. They had told me at her orphanage that her mom was an alcoholic. Why did I think she would ever have stopped drinking when she was pregnant with Ana? Of course she would not have! I felt like a fool for ever believing that.

Now comes the hard part. Next week we are scheduled to see a doctor and a specialists. I have been reading up on this and it is quite bad. At best Ana could be at a third or fourth grade comprehension level for the rest of her life. There may be serious brain injury that is irreversible. What is life going to be like for her. Well, only God knows.

For now I'll keep on doing what I am called to do, even if right now I am in the dark about this whole thing. I wonder, is there anyone out there that had any experience with FAS? I would love the help.

Until the next one...

The Fish Museum

2010-07-20T12:06:00.002-04:00

We visited the NC Aquarium Saturday. Behind Ana are crocodiles. She liked it.

By the way, Ana has decided to write her story. She is writing a book about her life! She is on chapter 10! I have not read any of it, but I am very interested! If anyone knows of a children's publisher -- I need some advice on what to do once she is done!

Bon Voyage Jimmy!

2010-07-20T12:04:00.001-04:00

Jimmy, her big brother, left for Australia last week on a student exchange program. This is a picture we took of all of us before he boarded the plane. I know she will miss her big brother!

Beautiful Girl!

2010-07-20T11:58:00.002-04:00

I love this picture!

For the longest time, I kept seeing her hiding her ears with her hair. She would never wear her hair back. I finally asked her what was up with that? She said that in Ukraine people would make fun of her ears and call her "monkey". I told her God made her ears. God made all of her to look this way. And that she is NOT a monkey, but a beautiful girl with beautiful ears and no one in this world looks like her!

She understood and every so often, she pulls her hair back and show off her beautiful face and ears!

Hi Raya!

2010-07-20T11:50:00.003-04:00

Last week we were surprised by Raya who was in the US on a hosting trip. She had called me at night and said she was only staying the day, but wanted to see Ana. Raya is the Director of Father's House, the orphanage we adopted Ana from. I told her I would not tell her she was in town. I wanted her to be surprised.

Ana was so happy to see Raya. She asked about all her friends! For most of the conversation they spoke English. It looked like English was so much easier for her to communicate than with the Russian. Raya was also pleasantly surprised that Ana looks so big and healthy. When we first met her in August 2007 she weighed 65 lbs and was about 4'5. Today she is 5'1 and 92 lbs!!!

This was a wonderful day for us all!

One Year Anniversary

2010-05-08T14:28:00.002-04:00

It has been one year since John and I signed the papers to Adopt Anastasia Kanyevska (sp?). We kept ker first name and added Faith as a middle name. She has grown a whole foot and has gained twenty ponds. I would say America does a body good!

A very beautiful and sweet day!

2010-04-08T10:02:00.004-04:00

We spent the day in Downtown Wilmington and each one of us had a great big scoop of ice cream in a waffle cone! Not very good for my diet, but great for my taste buds! Of course, Ana loved it. I do monitor everything she eats, but every once in a while I let her indulge. She wanted to know why I control everything (including her food). Which I admit I do, and my response was in a form of a question. I asked her, "if it was up to you, wouldn't you choose to eat sweets all day"? Her reply was a resounding...YES! Then I said, that's why I monitor everything you eat, and then I proceeded to tell her the perils of diabetes and child obesity. Her eyes grew large and she got very quiet as she stared at her big, rich, chocolaty, cone of ice cream. Now, I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of hate mail telling me how I'm creating a future anorexic or bulimic. Please don't! If there is one thing I know about is nutrition - and the causes of anorexia and bulimia. I have had to deal with it myself for many years and I have done lot's of research on the subject. Save your hate mail for another post:) I'm sure it is soon to come...

We are Christians --that is our culture.

2010-03-15T11:46:00.002-04:00

I get a lot of flack for my honest description of Ukrainina culture. When I meant to say I got you out of Ukraine --sorry, I meant it! No, she will not be part Ukrainian, part American part whatever...She is a Christian. If the Lord so chooses to save her soul.

By the way, I can say this, because I am originally from another country myself - with a completely different culture. And I only refer to it as the place of my BIRTH. That is it! I by no means mean to romantisize my own place of birth or any other place for that matter. I consider myself a Christian first and then an American. That is how I raised our son and that is how I will raise our daughter. So, if you want to have half-Ukrainians or half-Russians or half-chinese kids, then fine for you. I choose to have whole Christian children, who happen to live in the best place on this planet, the USA (by God's grace). Don't be concern for me, I have done this already and confusion is not something I want to instill in my kids. But thank you for your reply.

2010-03-10T12:38:00.002-05:00

Here we are celebrating Ana's 12th birthday! She will actually turn 12 on Sunday but we will be in church and can't celebrate it then.

Here she is with her friends from school.

She got her ears pierced! They are small and very pretty pink and white flowers.

We had a little bit of an incident today while I was driving her to school. She had disobeyed me and I told her she would have to get "consequenses". Of course she begged me for another chance and then when I said no she said "I never new Americans were so mean!" At first, I had to hold back laughing. Then I went on naming all the things God has done for her...

1. Got her out of Ukraine

2. Gave her a loving family

3. Goes to a Christian School

4. Goes to church

5. Has her own room

6. Never has to worry about food or board

7. Has piano lessons

8. Has Karate lessons

9. Lives in AMERICA with all it's opportunities!

10. Just had a wonderful birthday party!

Anyway, I told her she needed to ask forgiveness of God for being ungrateful. And I told her I was disciplining her because I care and love her. I dropped her off at school after that. We'll see what her attitude is like when I see her later today.

It goes to show, no matter what you give them, their hearts are very selfish, they always want more -- like the Bible says, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child".

Back after a long break!

2010-03-02T14:36:00.003-05:00

At the Dentist. She had a root canal! Her teeth were a mess, but we are going to get that all taken care of!

At Walmart!

Just like home!

Playing, playing! She got up very early in the morning! She tried to make snowmen.

Hello everyone. I have not blogged in months. Too many things happening. Ana is doing very well. Yesterday she wrote an email to Ukraine all in English. I barely had to help her.

I'll try to keep up every so often. Her birthday is coming up, so I will have some good pictures on that!

2009-12-04T12:28:00.002-05:00

This is Mrs. Montgomery, Ana's 5th grade teacher. Ana absolutely loves her! She loves her school and is doing quite well. I am Thankful for her school and for our church. They have been very supportive and very loving towards us.

A Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T13:28:00.003-05:00

We spent Thanksgiving in Georgia. This picture is the night after Thanksgiving and we had Chinese food. Ana is using chopsticks. We also went on a "safari" ride where animals came to the car and we fed them. My sister in law Rackel (wearing Old Navy sweatshirt) and her son Justin have a Wii. Of course, Ana absolutely LOVED it! So much so that when we were packing to come back home she said she didn't want to come home. I guess it's too much fun in Georgia and too many rules in North Carolina. Oh, well!

No, Ana there is no Santa Claus!

2009-11-24T10:33:00.002-05:00

I was driving Ana to school yesterday and as usual we talk about different things during the 25 minute ride. As Christmas is approaching, she asked a very interesting question. She wanted to go and sit on Santa's lap and tell him what she wants for Christmas. Please keep in mind she is 11 years old, way past the Santa age. I thought at first she was just joking, but no, the more the conversation progressed I realized she really did believe that Santa was real and that the reindeers were too and the whole North Pole and Elves! Oh, my. Well, I told her the truth. I said, Santa is a strange man with a red suit and fake white beard. Then I asked, "Do you want to sit on a strange man's lap"? Her eyes became really wide and quickly remarked --NO, NO, NO! Good, now I have to tackle the gift-giving with her. The gifts are not important, but I believe that for so long all she had was people giving her things that to her presents are VERY important. People, mostly Americans, send boxes and boxes of gifts for Christmas. So I think she is expecting a lot of presents. We'll see how she reacts when she only gets a couple of things.

Self Control and Joseph's Dancers

2009-11-22T15:13:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we caught a matinee of "Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It is a really fun musical. I have seen it a few times now and I wanted to take my kids to see this one playing in town. Overall, it was pretty safe for kids, but there were a few "questionable" costume choices and dance moves that I would rather have not had them see. As the whole cast got up to dance "Go Joe, Go", they had many girls dressed in skimpy, 60's miniskirts and wailing around kinda provocative. This is a common sight in any restaurant you go in Ukraine. They have little shame for showing their nakedness and for most of the time there we had to keep our eyes away from the endless views of the near soft-porn images.

Since we have been back, I have been steadily teaching Ana the do's and don'ts of a Christian young woman's modesty. Lack of self-control is a term I have been using to express our out of control society that includes these kinds of inappropriate (another word we use quite often) displays that should be better left not expressed. So when they started dancing like such, Ana turns to me and says..."They have no self-control"! I cracked up. I guess she really is beginning to learn!

2009-11-10T11:17:00.002-05:00

With her dogs, Ella (cockapoo) and Mocha (lab).

With her big brother, Jimmy.

Relaxing at home.

Here are some new pictures. Ana is doing quite well. We are working very hard at self-control. We were reading Galatians 5 (the fruit of the Spirit) last night and I told her how important this is. Sometimes her body wants to go very fast, so I tell her that her mind needs to control it. That includes her bad attitude too, which usually arises when I tell her NO.

I have noticed some improvement on her impulsiveness. She will start a sentence and then quickly catch herself and say "never mind". I told her this was very good, she is learning to chose her words wisely. She knows now not everything needs to be shared with the world. Some things are private and some things need not to be said. There is a time and place for everything.

She is also doing very well with her English. She understands almost everything and is beginning to write well too. The Alphabet is now complete in her mind and she doesn't mistake Russian letters with English ones anymore. Yeah!

Progress is slow, but I see it. Praise the Lord!

Men. Women and Chocolate!

2009-10-25T16:10:00.003-04:00

It seems like forever since my last post. There has been much happening in our home, but not much having to do with Ana, so I felt no real need to share it with y'all. Having said that, I will share a couple of things that concerns her. Ana is adjusting well. Do to my husband's line of work there are many young men in and out of our home on a weekly basis. At first Ana wanted to be part of everything they were doing. This, I explained is "Not Appropriate" behavior for a young lady. In Ukraine kids are everywhere adults are and are involved in their conversations and basically there are no boundaries. I think it may be do to the small quarters - not sure.

Well, considering she will become a young lady any day now (she's 11) she is to stay far away from these young men. She is to find things to do without interrupting them. Anyways, teaching her how to be a young lady takes a lot of time and effort. She has had very poor examples of women and even worst examples of men. The other day my husband raised his voice at me (yes, he does this sometimes - not very often) and was correcting me on something I did wrong and she got very upset. She has no idea what normal, healthy relationships look like so she thought my husband was going to turn into a monster and act like the men she has grown up with. For those of you who have lived in Ukraine, you know what I mean.

Anyways, we had to sit her down and have a long conversation about sin, again. "Sometimes Mommies and Daddies disagree and sometimes we raise our voices. However, it doesn't mean we will be hitting each other or throwing things at one another or divorcing or anything like that. It just means we are sinful, human beings in need of our Saviour" - And so is she.

After a while she realized our attitudes changed and we were all a happy family again. I asked forgiveness for what I did wrong, and my husband asked forgiveness for raising his voice - all in front of her.

On another note, she is being less disobedient these days. There are less "consequences". I think this has a lot to do with us controlling her environment the way that we do. She watches very little TV, I have taken away her CD player and she doesn't have a phone or IPOD. We are weaning her out of all these frivolous amusements. One day she will get these, but she is not ready for them now. It's like the chocolate and candy. She grew up eating candy all the time (instead of real food). Now it is controlled. She is being weaned out of this bad habit. One good thing is that she doesn't beg anymore. She used to beg a lot! She finally has understood that no means no and there is no begging that will change that.

One funny note. She watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday and she said she wanted to work in a chocolate factory when she grows up. She also said this was her very favorite movie of all time! Of course, I almost said I would go with her, except I would end up like the fat boy in the movie.

About the Issues of the Heart

2009-10-13T11:03:00.002-04:00

Many of you have written very encouraging emails to me after I posted the discipline issues I encountered with Ana. It seems like we are all going through similar stories. The specifics I mentioned are very common to most of these kids. As I'm reading your emails I kept thinking to myself what will become of these children that are left to "age out" of these orphanages. Without any rehabilitation they will have a very hard time adjusting to the work force or even dealing with day to day situations. Maybe this is why the statistics are so high for girls going into prostitution and boys into crime. They have no skills to live in this world. We have to pray for more adoptions. This is the only way they have a chance at a "normal" life.

As for Ana, I see improvements every day. Her day to day routine is pretty much the same. We have limited her entertainment to a bare minimum. Maybe a children's video once a month and only 1/2 hour of cartoons a day. I am constantly correcting her behavior. She used to jump in an adult conversation (just to be the center of attention) now she says "excuse me" which I say "is it important"? and she thinks about it and most of the time it's not and she stays quiet.

We had company over last night and in the past, she would have been all over them just trying to get their attention, but I was pleasantly surprised that after dinner she excused herself to her room to play with her dolls. We barely even heard her. She has learned how to entertain herself, quietly. BIG improvement!

Like they say, if you do something for 30 days it becomes a habit. Our life is simple and straight forward, without many bells and whistles. I believe she will get it - in time. And one day she will become a very productive, proper young lady!

Radical Changes

2009-10-06T10:22:00.003-04:00

Ana is in school and it is quiet now. My husband and I were saying the other day that we have not had a child at home for years so this is all new to us. Or rather, we have forgotten what it is to have a child at home. Our son is a junior in college and an adult. It's been years since we heard a peep from him.

How different things are now than they were seven months ago, when we were planning to fly to Kiev. I don't recognize all the new cartoons that are out. And some are quite offensive. I usually check for their grading system to see if they are appropriate for her to watch. She still prefers Sponge Bob, and she is allowed to watch that. Actually, I find Sponge Bob quite funny and witty!

And then there is the --"No running in the house" coming from me on a dialy basis. I admit these changes do take some getting use to.

Then there is the daily homework. I was not at all surprised that Ana did not know her times table. There are many things she doesn't know that she should know since she is in 5th grade. Either the school system is very bad in Ukraine, or they just did not bother with her.

I am in constant communications with her teachers at school. They are very helpful and do want to see her learn and progress. She can read pretty good. Each day I am surprised at all the new words she is learning. Where once she would say "We go school", now she is saying "We now go to school". And where she said "I hungry", now she says "Mom, I am hungry". Big steps, I think. And her accent is almost right on - I think she is gifted in languages.

We are constantly working on discipline issues. She is trying really hard. I know it is difficult, this is all very new to her. Once she had to worry about everything, including what to eat. Now, she doesn't have to worry about any of those things - only one --obeying Mom & Dad. What a radical concept!

Issues from the Heart

2009-09-28T10:58:00.003-04:00

A week has gone by since my last post and many things have occurred. We went to Georgia for a family trip and had a wonderful time there. We even missed most of the bad rains! We are trying hard to adjust to Ana. Unfortunately she has some behavior issues that need to be adjusted and it causes some friction now and then. Lately we have been experiencing much friction! We are beginning to see that at the orphanage where she was offered her much more freedom to do and say what she wanted. She now has to obey the rules of our house and this is a very difficult process for her. She has never learned patience. When I say we will do this later, she has to ask me several times until we do this. I wonder if this is because people at the orphanage would often promise her things and never deliver? I am constantly reminding her that we keep our word, but she has to trust us. This is hard.

I also don't quite understand the need for entertainment all the time. Except maybe because of their "entertainment-filled" society she needs to have that stimulus all the time. We don't have TV's and music videos going all the time at home. In fact, we rarely turn on the TV. I guess she is going through a kind of withdrawal. The amusement thing is also something I did not expect. Once we are done with doing something or going somewhere together, she asks "what do we do now", as if the fun must continue. I really thought since she was an orphan she would be grateful for every little thing she does, but it doesn't seem that way. It is never enough!

Anyhow, don't email me saying things like I'm too harsh, inconsiderate, etc. I am being honest and this is all new to me. My biological son never acted out this way, so I am trying to learn how to address her sinful actions and teach her new appropriate, kind and good behavior. Are there any other parents going through this???

Also, there are serious behaviors that require immediate attention such as lying and manipulating. These I wish someone had told me about while I was in Kiev. She has to deal with many consequenses stemming from these actions. Please pray that her heart will be changed.

Update on Ana

2009-09-22T10:59:00.002-04:00

This week marks two months since we have been in America. Yeah! Ana seems to be adjusting slowly to the many changes in her life. Sometime I feel bad that she has to learn everything all over again. There are so many things that we don't think about that has to do with adjusting to a different culture. Things we just take for granted. For example, the other night on the way home from church we stopped by the market for a few things. My husband got separated from us and when I finally saw him he was clear across the other side of the store. In order to get his attention I hollered at him. Well, you would have thought I committed a very serious crime by the way Ana tugged at me and kept shushing me to keep quiet. Never mind that no one cared but her, she was visibly shaken that I was even intending to draw attention to ourselves. I remember she did this to me in Kiev too. Apparently, you are not supposed to raise your voice in Ukraine or do anything that will make people look at you. It is a No-No!

I took her face in my hands and said, "Ana, It is OK to call out to Dad, we are NOT in Ukraine". Like this, there are so many culture - specific, behavioral differences that on top of her normal child behavior issues, she has to learn how we relate to our culture.

Then there are those behaviors specific to her living in an institution. Somehow she thinks everything in our house she is welcome to. This morning I was reading my Bible with a few resources around me and she did not ask permission, but went right ahead and picked one up and started to thumb through it. I told her that was not hers and she needs to ask permission before picking it up. I also asked her why she feels she needs to touch everything she sees. Which she replied, "because I want to". Then I said that is not correct and she needs to ask permission and then and only if the person agrees for her to look at it can she. It is called self-control and respect for other people's property. Self-control is the word of the month right now. We are working very hard on self-control in may areas of her life.

I pray for strength and wisdom as we continue to disciple Ana. I would covet your prayers on this for it is a mighty task, indeed!

Clarification on Anonymous

2009-09-18T12:59:00.003-04:00

I guess my last post needs some explaining. Obviously those I allow to post I'm OK with. It's the ones that never get on that are the ones I am directing it to. So, if you haven't seen your comment posted - anonymous - it's you! Sorry for the confusion for everyone else.

Message to Anonymous

2009-09-18T06:26:00.002-04:00

Here is a simple message to those who post anonymously. Why? What are you afraid of? This is an information blog, a community blog and a discussion blog. Please consider your motives for only wanting to add your opinion without being challenged. It is a very prideful attitude that makes someone comment on things without needing any rebuttal. And also very cowardly. By the way, you realize most of us in the blogging world have the magic little button that makes your comment never read. I sometimes allow your comments for the sake of having others read how self-centered, prideful, often wrong your position is. So you might want to come out of the blogging closet and allow someone to teach you something sometime.

Sorry Elton - NO ADOPTION FOR YOU!

2009-09-15T10:13:00.004-04:00

“Elton John will not be able to adopt a Ukrainian child and if he files that request we will unfortunately deny it,” Pavlenko said. “The law is the same for everybody: for a president, for a minister, for Elton John.”

As stated above by the Adoption Authority of Ukraine, Elton and his partner cannot adopt this little boy. Here is the link, if you want to read more on it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32823650/ns/entertainment-celebrities/

Good to read the rules still applies to everyone equally.

Elton John Adopting from Ukraine?

2009-09-12T20:15:00.001-04:00

I read in the news that singer Elton John is planning to adopt a fourteen month old orphan from Ukraine. I thought the Ukrainian authorities did not allow Homosexual people to adopt? Does anyone know otherwise?

English only?

2009-09-11T16:43:00.002-04:00

As I write this I am listening to Ana play with our dogs Ella & Mocha. She is having a full blown conversation and it is all in English! She doesn't know I am listening for I am in the next room. I remember our first week here she would speak to them in Russian but not anymore. I guess we are making big strides forward. I think she will probably be fluent by the end of the year.

Can any of you parents tell me how long it took your kids to learn the language? I'd love to know.

Broken Down House

2009-09-10T10:44:00.003-04:00

This is the title of the book I am currently reading. It is by one of my favorite writers, Paul David Tripp. I highly recommend it. It is a sobering reminder to all us Christians that this life is not what we should place our hope in. This life is a Broken Down House. It will never satisfy and it will always disappoint. Everything is marred by sin. From our kids attitudes to our own reactions, and as I am reading this I am reminded that God gave me Ana to point her to Himself. Tripp has a very interesting example of the kind of selfishness that is common to us all. He says that for the most part when we say we "love" someone and wish to marry them, we are mostly saying I think this person would be good for me, rather than I am here to help my spouse be more like Christ. And when all the warm and fuzzies disappear and the spouse doesn't deliver on the promises made the marriage goes awry.

As a counselor I have seen it time and time again. I have heard it time and time again from marriages that are falling apart. "You don't understand ME"! "You don't love ME"! In this self-esteem driven world one should not be surprised by the many divorces and broken families, since all people are looking for are to satisfy their own needs. Tripp points us to God and again reminds us that we are to live for Him and for others. OTHERS? That's easier said than done. When my daughter lies, I need to tell her that it is a sin against God. When she disobeys, I need to tell her she is sinning against God.

This morning she said she wanted a new pair of shoes (she has about 10 pairs already). I asked her why, she said because she didn't like the ones she had. I then reminded her that in Ukraine she had but one pair and they were a pair that was all worn with holes. She remembered and then she said nothing else. This was an opportunity to communicate that things are not important and that God has provided for her, but that her sin is trying to get the best of her now. And that it seems like her selfishness and materialism is beginning to show and that is NOT good. She agreed. Again, my job is to point her to her need of Christ - not me or anything else this world provides.

None of us have arrived and God is in the process of making us into the image of His son. He will use everything around us to accomplish this. Especially those He has placed in our immediate family. I know He is doing this with me through Ana, and I am the conduit for Ana's sanctification. Praise God for His wisdom and His grace!

Follow up with example...

2009-09-08T10:45:00.002-04:00

After I wrote the last post I realized it needed a little bit more clarification. Whenever I write something that paints Ukraine or Ana's previous life in a less than politically correct picture I usually get emails saying I'm wrong and that she needs to keep the memories of her life there and she needs to still remember her Ukrainian life. Well, you get it. So, before I get any of those emails I thought I should give you an example to show you the difference between her culture and ours and what it is that I mean when I say there is so much that has to be taught to her about her critical thinking.

This is the mildest example I can think of from her life.

Ana is a very social girl. She wants to be everyone's friend. She likes people coming over the house. She absolutely loves pictures. We have allowed her to bring some pictures back that are of her mom and other family members. We were OK when she brought the pictures out the first time to show our company, but we were not ready for what we would hear next. Even in her broken English she managed to communicate that her maternal grandmother had been stabbed to death by her mother's boyfriend and that she was witnessed to it. All this while she is showing the pictures to our unsuspecting guests. Very matter of fact. You should have seen their faces - and ours!

Ana didn't see anything wrong with all the details, because this and worst are part of the lives of Ukrainian orphans. They all have these horror stories in common.

Now, that is not the case in our culture, so we had to talk to her about not telling everybody the story. Before anyone gets defensive - yes, in some areas of our society it exists - but not where most of us live. And certainly it isn't normal everyday conversation for most of us.

Death, alcoholism and drug addiction is perfectly normal in the lives of Ukrainian orphans. So, Ana doesn't understand why this is not appropriate conversation for people you just met for lunch.

This is one thing, but there are many situations and circumstances that need explanation and relearning. I hope those who are quick to judge will understand at least this much.

Falling Into a Beautiful Routine

2009-09-08T09:54:00.004-04:00

For those of you who know me, you know I am a very practical, systematic, organized and disciplined individual. I thrive on schedules and order. I love when September comes around and everything gets back to a regular beat. Kids in school, people at work, no line at the market.

Ana is learning to be quiet, calm and composed. This is is a very difficult task for her. Chaos is more what she is used to, so order is completely strange for her. Sometimes she bounces up and down for no reason as if she is so excited about something and I have to physically hold her down and tell her it is OK to be still. She even moves when she is sitting down. We are working on self-control. As we all are in the process of working on it. Even I have to remind myself that I am in control of this body, my body is not in control of me. I especially have to remind myself about my emotions. As women, I think we are particularly emotionally driven. This is a big issue for both Ana and myself. We are both very emotional. I have learned to control them to an extent, but she has never had to stop herself before.

I have taught her to stop and think before asking or saying something. Critical thinking is non existent where she came from. In our family it is crucial. All of us process our thoughts very carefully. It is the least we can do to keep a harmonious home environment. It is the least we can do to show love to one another. We are not always going to agree, but we can always be agreeable in our words and attitudes.

All of this to say that she is doing well considering all the demands that have been placed on her in such a short period of time. She is happy, loves her school, her teachers, her church. And even when she seems like she doesn't like something I have asked her to do, it doesn't take long before she is back in a good mood. I'm pleased she does not hold bitterness in her heart.

I told someone this week that teaching her is a lot of work. It is similar to a lobotomy. It is like taking everything that has been placed in her mind that was bad (and there is a lot of this) and replacing it with everything that is good, just, lovely and right. It is like Paul said putting off the old man and putting on the new. I am anxious to see the "new girl" that God is making in my daughter. We will have to just wait and see!

She's An American Now!

2009-08-31T19:20:00.002-04:00

Today we received Ana's certificate of citizenship in the mail. Just like that! Some people would kill for one of those and all she had to do is --- get adopted!

We were both very happy. Too bad no one was here to celebrate with us. Just me and Ana, jumping around in the kitchen!

For all of you with Ukrainian kids were you all just as excited or am I overdoing it?

Well, I think it's a very big deal!!! Congratulations to my American Daughter!

Sunday Afternoon

2009-08-30T15:34:00.002-04:00

Before we head back for our Sunday Evening Service I thought I would jot down a couple of things. First, I will tell you that since Ana's big blow up on Friday, she has been behaving exceptionally well. It's like she is a completely different child. I'm trying to figure out what it was exactly that set her off. Maybe she still does not know how to behave in a rather small group gathering and the sugar in the chocolate added some hyperactivity that she sure didn't need. I have since banned all sweets in the house and she is as cool as a winter's morn. It will take some time I know, but I have to say I really like this obedient child. She is quite a happy child! And she doesn't seem to be bothered by the demands that are placed upon her. I will be taking her to the doctor within the next week or two to have a complete check-up done. I will ask for some blood work also because maybe there is something physically wrong that makes her act up (that is besides her own sin):)

In any case she completely understood that consequences follow bad behavior. I even explained that God also has consequences for Mommies and Daddies if they don't do what He says. And one of those things is that we teach our children to obey. So far it looks like she got it! Praise God.

The End of a Long Week - Finally!

2009-08-28T18:01:00.005-04:00

I'm tired and looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. It has been a brutal week for me. Not because of all the driving and scheduling and phone calls and school meetings and church meetings, but because Ana's true colors are coming out. And they are very colorful - and not very pretty!

Yesterday we went to my parents to celebrate my "Happy Birthday". Well, it wasn't very happy at all. Ana ate one of those yummy fund-raising chocolates and completely set her off! I have never seen her throw a tantrum like a small child, but that is what she did. Although she is eleven chronologically, her emotional age must be around 5 or 6. She would not listen to anything I said and did not want to eat what was given to her. I told her there would be serious consequences, but this wasn't enough to make her stop and obey. She even said she was going to walk home, to which I said, OK (knowing very well she would not even know which way to head). She only went as far as the corner and waited until I was ready to go home.

While I drove, I proceeded to list all the consequences that she had accumulated from her bad behavior and she cried - very loudly - all the way home.

This morning she handed me a card and a makeshift box with some trinkets in it and said "Happy Birthday". I took one look and put it down, then I told her thank you but I would rather have her obey me than this. She said she would. I said, "if you love me, you will obey me". She said she would. I said we will see.

Although I have kept my cool for the most part, it has been very demanding on me, physically, mentally and spiritually. I have to be one step ahead of her at all times - always thinking on the next move. Kind of exhausting and new to me. I had never had to do this with my biological child. He was very easy and very obedient. Ana on the other hand is pushing me to the very end.

I can't tell you all the things I have taken away and all the restrictions she is under - way too much to write. But, I will tell you that since she has been home from school she has done everything I have asked her to do. And she is very quiet too. Oh, she has not had any sweets to eat either.

We'll see how long this lasts...I can tell this rehabilitation process will take a loooooong time!

Food Issues

2009-08-27T13:07:00.002-04:00

Every day I learn more and more about Ana and she learns more about living in our family. There are so many cultural differences that it is very challenging for me to address these with gentleness, patience and wisdom. For instance the thing about food. This has been difficult to train her to think of food as something that not only tastes good, but is good for nourishment. When I first met her she ate sugar all the time. She would rather eat a candy bar for breakfast, than a sandwich. This, I explained is NOT how we do it here. As much as I like candy and chocolates, etc. I have had to take drastic measures and have none of it at home. This will be for a while until I see she is weaned out of that habit. Even for the school lunches I blocked all sweets and even ice cream, much to her displeasure! But it has to be this way for now.

She has a different palate too, so she doesn't much like the foods we eat. She tells me she is very hungry when I pick her up from school, which tells me, she probably did not eat all her lunch. That's OK. She will learn, if she doesn't eat that, she will go hungry. Same thing at home. I had to explain to her the other day that our kitchen was NOT a restaurant for special orders. She had better learn to like the food I cook, or she would be hungry.

Unlike many moms, I am not from the school of you better eat everything off your plate or else. Rather, it is wiser that she does eat what is on her plate, because then there will be no food afterwards. Oh, there is always plenty of fruits, nuts and vegetables in the house, but what she really wants a is a Snickers! Well, don't we all?

Oh No! Not The Happy Birthday!!

2009-08-24T11:05:00.002-04:00

Ana had to ask everyone in the family when their birthdays were. Unfortunately mine is the next one. So, she has to tell everyone visiting that my birthday is coming up. It is a big deal to her. This "Happy Birthday". That's how she calls it - all together --Happy Birthday. As in Mom, your Happy Birthday is coming! Well, she doesn't understand that at my age it isn't always a Happy Birthday:/ and I certainly don't want the whole world to know how old I will be. I think they made a big deal of birthdays at the orphanage so she is just carrying things over here. When I try to explain that she doesn't need to tell everyone, she has a sad face and says, "Why...you not happy on your Happy Birthday"??? Oh boy! Please pray for me!

On the other hand...

2009-08-21T11:37:00.003-04:00

Although I am quite pleased with her reaction with school, all is not rosey or easy at home. I was reading another blog where the parents were frustrated with their newly adopted Ukrainian daughter. I too have experienced my share of frustration. I supposed there is a "breaking in" period. I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but it kind of reminds me of riders "breaking in" their horses. As an orphan she was always worried about so many things. Basic things like food and shelter. At first she would constantly ask me when we would do this and when we would go there. I figured that she needed reassurance. I'm sure people lied to her so she needs constant reassurance that things will happen. But all the asking got very anoying at times. I told her she NEVER has to worry about not having food to eat or clothes to wear. And most importantly I told her she doesn't have to think about making any decisions like these by herself. I told her now you have a Mommy and Daddy. That's our job. My job is to break that independent attitude and place it on us and then on God.

She still continues to ask, but not as often. I keep telling her, "you already asked me that". And she says, "oh yeah, I forgot". At the beginning she wanted to know everything, even if she didn't understand, she wanted me to tell her. Now, unless she needs to know I say, "it is not important for you to know this". This is enough to quiet her and she calms down.

In the orphanage she had to fight for attention. I think she doesn't understand that she doesn't have to do that anymore. When people come over she wants to be the center of attention and sometimes she bothers people. I think she thinks they will be gone and she needs to tell them everything about herself before they leave and never come back again.

While in Ukraine we briefly considered adopting a second child. I am so thankful we did not do it. I think they would have ganged up on us and really rebelled. I see that potential in Ana, but because she has the language issue, she feels defenseless and overpowered. There is at this point only one way of doing things, and it isn't her way. She is being trained to be obedient -

There is so much that Ana needs to learn. But most importantly she needs to know WHO is in charge. I think spending three months alone with her prior to arriving in the States built a pretty good foundation for what was to come. Although she rebells at times, she know me and I have set the ground rules before we left Ukraine. One day when she had a very bad attitude in Ukraine, I sat her down with an interpreter and asked her if she really wanted to come home with me. If she did she would have to do things our way - not hers. She would NOT be in charge. I told her if she wanted to be in charge of herself she could stay in Ukraine. I said, now you choose. She chose to come with me. I'm glad I did that. Now, now matter how bad things get for her, she will always remember she had a choice. We didn't drag her away to a different world without her consent. And living in American doesn't come easy.

I showed her Ephesians 6. I said, "if you obey things will go well with you, if you don't it will not go well with you". There will be consequenses. She has learned this word very well.

It will take time, I know. With God's help we will get through this. After all, this is the child God chose for us. I can't forget that all that happens is for my sanctification too!

She Loves School!

2009-08-21T11:16:00.002-04:00

I admit it. I was worried she would not like it. But, when I picked her up yesterday it was all smiles. It seemed to me like she even got older. She tried to tell me all about her day. She showed me her calendar and said this is what they do every day! She loved lunch and even told me that she could almost understand everything her teachers were saying, but one of them really speaks fast! I'm very encouraged. I think she will pick up fast.
This morning she got up all by herself and got dressed and ate breakfast. She was all ready to go with time to spare. OK, so it was just the first day, but it could have been much worse.

I'm so thankful to God for His grace towards us!

First Day of School!

2009-08-20T12:02:00.003-04:00

Here is a picture of Ana's first day of school in America. I have spoken to her teachers and I have mentioned that she will need additional tutoring. They are all aware that she will have some issues, not only because of the language, but I also believe she was never helped in reaching her school level in Ukraine. Nobody really spent time after school to help her with homework, if they even assigned homework to her.

She is doing 5th grade over, but I hope she can grasp and hang on so they won't push her back to 4th. This school is very demanding and challenging and I don't know how she will do.

She didn't like the uniform. She said in Ukraine they are nicer looking. I told her she wasn't in Ukraine and there will be many things she won't like living here. But all things considered, it is better to be here than Ukraine. She agreed.

The other two pictures are with our dogs, Mocha & Ella. They are completely wiped out by the end of the day. She loves playing with them. I guess they are happy they get a breather while she is in school.

Welcome to America Party!

2009-08-14T17:19:00.003-04:00

Today the girls from church threw Ana a "Welcome to America Party". Everything was decorated in red, white and blue. They had pizza and cake plus they played all kinds of fun games. Ana just fit right in. She even taught them a Ukrainian game she used to play with the girls at the Orphanage. I am so thankful that she is making friends. I was concerned about the language barrier, but she doesn't seem to mind. The girls are so sweet. They even got her some presents! As I write this she is quietly playing in her room with her new baby doll that laughs, cries and sleeps.

She really tries very hard to make herself understood. We had a conversation yesterday about her development. She was interested in talking about what was happening to her body. I told her it was normal and that every woman goes through these changes.

We haven't had any major blow-ups yet. She is very strong-willed. But I happen to be stronger. I'll let you know if they materialize. For the most part she is not that difficult, just testing at times. I think she is exploring the limits of how far she can go with me. Which isn't very far. When I say NO, it means NO. At the orphanage she had been used to whining until people gave in to her demands. To her surprise, it doesn't work here.

One time she wanted something and I said NO. She said"you don't love me". Which I quickly replied..."I spent three months in a place I did not like very much for you -- THAT IS LOVE"!

She never said that again :)

New Name for a New Life

2009-08-11T16:20:00.002-04:00

I have decided to keep blogging on Ana's new life experience in America. Our Adoption journey has ended, but a new journey is beginning. Life in America!

This will be a good diary to keep for her. I think she will enjoy reading everything that happened to her since she became part of our family.

This is primarily for my precious daughter, but you are all welcome to follow along!

...And of course I will continue to read all the other blogs related to adoptions.

Keep bloggin' my faithful friends!

Just One Day of Crying

2009-08-10T16:09:00.003-04:00

Ana had her tooth out today. It was in such bad shape that the thing broke in two. She cried. At times, very loudly. I think it was more the thought of what was happening than the pain, because she was crying even when he wasn't even doing anything. The whole thing took about ten minutes and I was having second thoughts about whether this was a good idea or not. After all she has only been in America two weeks!

She is doing fine now. She had ice cream and is resting. I tried to explain to her that she will have nice teeth once they are all fixed. She agreed that it was OK to continue. She said, "just one day of crying". I though that was cute.

First Sunday at home.

2009-08-09T14:40:00.002-04:00

Ana loves her church! She loves her new friends. There are a few little girls her age that have reached out to her and have been very kind and loving. This coming friday they will be having a welcome home party in her honor. This is just the thing for her. She was very social in Ukraine and I was a little concerned that the language barrier would be a hindrance to her making friends, but it looks like she is just jumping right in there with them. I think it really helps that her new school is within the church grounds, so many girls that attend church with her will also be her classmates. This will help make her school time easier for her.

I met her teacher today also at church. She is wonderful! I'm thankful that God arranged all this for me because I really would not know how to put this together myself. As always, He knows what is best. All I have to do is follow His lead.

Tomorrow she has to go to the Dentist to have a tooth pulled. Poor little thing :(

I'll let you all know how that goes...

On Vacation

2009-08-03T21:28:00.003-04:00

Yes, we have been busy visiting family in other states. I have attached a few pictures from our DC trip. Ana seems to be loving every minute! She keeps saying, "America very beautiful" and "my life very beautiful". I'm thankful for that but I wonder what she will say when all the hard work comes???

Today we shopped for school supplies and we went to the Dentist. At first she was very scared, but they are really nice at our Doctor's office and she was OK when we left. Even when I told her one of her teeth had to come out she didn't complain. She will most likely need a root canal too. Her teeth are in pretty bad shape. I expected it to be so. The doctor said there should be no worries because we caught everything at the nick of time! She will have a beautiful smile to go with that beautiful face and...that beautiful life:)

School Registration

2009-07-30T08:01:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we went to register Ana for school. Although she has finished the 5th grade in Kiev, she will be doing it over in America. She has so much to learn! The language is the least of my concerns. I have noticed that she knows very little in her own language. While in Kiev, I had to teach her to tell time and the months of the year. She doesn't know her times tables and doesn't know how to look up words in the dictionary. I guess no one spent much time with her schoolwork. Then, I was reading through some of the translations I have and found that she was never taken to school until she was at "The Father's House". This was when she was seven. So she really will be behind. I pray she will not be dicouraged.

We will all need a lot of patience. Especially Ana. She will come to understand living in America isn't always fun and games. Sometimes it is hard work!

Posting From Home!

2009-07-28T09:58:00.004-04:00

It feels so good to be writing this from my computer at home. I am so much more at ease now. Being far away from home has given me a deeper sense of appreciation for all that the Lord has blessed me with. In many ways I was taking things for granted. This journey has rudely shaken me into the reality that what we have can easily be taken from us at any moment. Also, I have been reminded to hold things very loosely and to focus on what really matters - our eternal life.

Yes, I have a beautiful daughter. Yes, I have a wonderful family. But, it is all fleeting and will be gone one day. The journey is our life thru the threshold of eternity with our Heavenly Father.

My real home is Heaven. I do look forward to that day!

In the meantime, I pray I can be the best mom and wife I can be here on earth. Attached are a couple of pictures from this weekend. The second picture is Jimmy, my son with Ana.

Again, thanks for following along!

HOME SWEET HOME!!!

2009-07-22T05:42:00.004-04:00

After an exhausting two flights we are home! as I write you it is 5:40 am and I have already been up for an hour. This Jet lag is giving me extra time to get back in the groove and to get things started early ( I have the wash going already). I don't mind the being up early, it's the night time that kills me. By 4:00pm, I'm just useless.

Well, the two flights home were uneventful, but long. Ana loved the plane and was so amazed looking out the window. We had a very long (5 hour) lay-over at JFK. This was boring, but I wasn't complaing one bit. Customs was very easy. It took all of 20 minutes to get processed in and that was including 10 minutes of waiting in line.

Our son Jimmy and my parents were at the airport to greet us. It was very emotional, everyone was crying. John is in Virginia preparing for his next assignment, so he couldn't be there, but we will see him Friday and I'm thrilled!

When we came home Ana was in awe of her room. We had it painted pink (hers and my favorite color) while we were away. She absolutely loves our dogs. And they love her (a new play partner) . On a personal note, my house seemed really big to me. Three months of living in a tiny room changed my space perception :)

Sleeping is a little weird. I keep waiking up every couple of hours thinking I'm in Kiev, then I realize I'm in my own bed and I breathe a great sigh of relief and I thank God I'm home. Has that happened to any of you that have done this??

I will post some pictures when I get a chance.

Until the next post...

T Minus 14 hours - or so

2009-07-19T14:13:00.002-04:00

Yup. This is my last Ukrainian post. Next time I write I will be doing it from the comfort of my comfy home. What a trip this has been! By far the most difficult thing I have ever done. Even pregnancy and delivery wasn't as hard - or as painful :) The result being the same, a beautiful child, that will be coming home to be with us as our new family member. Even though it is quite new, in many ways she seems like she has always been with us. It is hard to explain, but Ana just seems to belong with us. Our wonderful God has done a wonderful thing in bringing this little girl into our lives!

I praise Him for going before me and in spite of my shortcomings (and I know I have many), He has prepared all things just so right, to His praise and His Glory!

I pray that more hearts are turned towards adoption. Especially of the older child. There are so many, just waiting for a family to come for them. They pray every night for a family.

My husband and I delayed this calling for many years. I hope those of you who are called to adopt do so without much delay!

God Bless all of you who have been faithfully reading along!

Until I write to you from home...I sign off!

Barb

T Minus 2 Days

2009-07-18T07:55:00.002-04:00

It is very quiet today at the orphanage. My laptop is not working, but they were kind enough to let me use one in their office. Unlike state run orphanages, this one is equipped with laptops and workstations, very much like an efficient work place back home. The staff is currently translating their pamphlets into English and they have asked me to make corrections if I see the need. Mmmm, do I see the need!

They are in serious need of a native speaker. Their translations are taken directly from Russian. Our language is much different, so I am having to rewrite most of their material. I guess it's good that I used to translate materials from Spanish to English, so I'm not afraid to attempt to correct their English translation. For example, one sentence for them is very complicated and quite long. Their grammar is probably a nightmare. Where English is quite simple in comparison - a subject and a predicate.

Anyways, I am happy to do it for them. And it makes time go by faster.

Last night we went out to dinner with some folks here to a very nice Ukrainian restaurant. The food was simply Delicious! Afterwards, we went walking by that big woman called "The Motherland". She is quite intimidating. One can't help wonder if she was built as a challenge to our Statue of Liberty. If you compare the two it is analogous to both our cultures. Where this woman is threatening looking, ours is quite serene, calm and inviting. Almost like their version is trying extra hard to be tough, and ours is all about power under control.

I will be seeing this beautiful, lady liberty in just a couple of days and I will have a much better appreciation for all that she stands for. I know this for sure!

T Minus 3 Days

2009-07-17T05:41:00.002-04:00

We have it! This morning it took all of one hour to get the US visa for Ana from the US Embassy! I LOVE IT!

One thing I did not know is that once Ana hits US soil she is considered a US citizen. Of course we have to do the documents at home, but those are only US passport and social security card. That's pretty good!

We are all set now for Monday's flight. I will try to blog until I leave, but my laptop is on the blink, so it depends on whether I can get to another computer to use.

Thank you all for your prayers!!! I don't think I can rightly express how difficult it has been out here. Even writing down my thoughts on this blog is not sufficient or precise. I guess this is something I will always keep in my heart.

You all have come on this road with me and your encouraging emails have helped me along when I was very low. Again I say thank you and God bless you!

T Minus 4 Days

2009-07-16T08:46:00.002-04:00

Got medical examination done with no problems. Amazing! Ana did have to have a Hep B shot, which she didn't like, of course. Then off the the US Embassy to submit for the VISA. It should be ready tomorrow.

I can't believe we are almost all done. I thought this day would never come. Three months in Ukraine is too much! This whole process has been so exhausting! Physically, mentally and emotionally draining. And I might add, I am down to my last $150!

Monday come quickly!

T minus 5 days

2009-07-15T14:44:00.002-04:00

We are well on our course for take off on Monday. Got Ana's passport today! Tomorrow medical examination and VISA. That's it!

I'm beginning to breathe easier, but I'm not feeling 100%. I think I did something to my hip. It hurts and I'm limping a bit. Vicky, I think I will have to wait a bit, before I get on that bike :(

Also, I broke my glasses, so I'm having trouble writing this right now.

And worst of all, my laptop is almost dead. It has some bug or something that causes it to freeze a few minutes after I start it. And I thought Macs had no technical issues? Silly me. Maybe it's just cause I have so much media in it. There is over 3000 picures and video from this trip. Maybe one of you tech geeks out there can tell me if this is so?

At this point I don't care...I'M COMING HOME!

We have our tickets!!!

2009-07-14T09:38:00.002-04:00

Today the registration deal is done. I don't even understand what it was for, but it is done. The really bad thing about this registration thing is that we had to drive more than 300 kilometers round trip. Because we did this twice it cost me $300 US Dollars!!! Yeah, not very happy about that. But, I am happy that tomorrow we pick up the passport, do the visa and maybe get the medical done. It looks like we are on schedule to leave Kiev Monday the 20th!!!

Please pray there are no further hicups so we can be home soooooon!

Countdown begins!

Update

2009-07-10T06:09:00.003-04:00

This is the church Ana has attended for the past 4 years. We stopped to take a picture on the way to do documents.

We have applied for the passport this morning. We might have it by Wednesday. Then visa and medical examination. If all goes well, MAYBE we can get a flight out Sunday or Monday.

It will be close. We will just have to wait and see.

Yesterday we drove about 100 kilometers outside Kiev to deregister Ana. Or register her under her new name. This is a new law that says you have to go to their place of registration and get their OK before you can take your child out of the country. It is a very useless piece of legislation, but I gotta do it. Just another example of the workings of a beaurocratic state!

For all who read this who are planning to come here to adopt ****PLEASE ASK YOUR FACILITATOR ABOUT THIS!!!*** You don't want to be hung up with this silly paperwork. A copy of our dossier and all court decrees is right now in front of three or four complete strangers who are looking it over and deciding wether or not it is a good idea for me (her mom) to take my child (whom they don't even know) to America. A little scary, isn't it??? At this stage of the process I can just about expect any outcome.

But for the grace of God...

It's Here!!!

2009-07-08T14:26:00.002-04:00

Finally! We got the Birth Certificate! Our facilitator is translating it into Ukrainian. Tomorrow we go for the passport. I am now breathing easy. I can finally see a light at the end of this tunnel. I'll know better tomorrow when we can go home. Yeah!

Stay tuned...

Jude 1:24

2009-07-06T06:59:00.002-04:00

I love this verse. Today's bible verse is so encouraging. I am quite weak and frail. I feel like I'm just one step away from falling. As in falling into a deep precipice and not ever returning. But, God is strong. He will keep me from falling. I stand firmly grounded on that promise today and tomorrow and the next. His mercies are new every morning!

Sunday Again

2009-07-05T08:40:00.002-04:00

This is an I'm bored and got nothing to do but blog, blog. There are a couple of Missionaries visiting and we had service here instead of attending church. Good for me because it was in English. Not so good for Ana, but it is just something she needs to get used to. She recognized a song we sang "Majesty". They sing it in Russian.

I really hope we only have one more Sunday to spend here, if that. If the Lord wills.

It's Almost Here

2009-07-04T13:41:00.003-04:00

So, they tell me the birth certificate is all ready now and ready for DHL to ship it to Kiev. Yeah, well I heard that story before. I'm not getting too excited until I get that little puppy in my hand.

In the meantime, I have been busy reading all the Ukrainian adoption blogs. I am very encouraged to read about all the families that have made the decision to do this. This is a major undertaking. It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. I can say that for me, this journey has been the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life to this point. God bless you and give you wisdom as you sail through these difficult waters.

There are many families currently in Ukraine too. I feel their pain! Just kiddin'! In reality I'm one of the few who is not enjoying her time here. Most blogs are very positive about their Ukrainian adventure. Keep a - bloggin' away, my bloggin' brothers and sisters!!!

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY GREAT AND WONDERFUL USA ---I MISS YOU!!!

Dinner with "Papa Roman"

2009-07-02T13:11:00.003-04:00

Last night Ana and I had dinner with the Director of "The Father's House" and his wife at their home. It was a lovely time. We talked about the plans they have for the kids and the future of the ministry. They are currently preparing a rehabilitation center for young moms with babies. They are so busy! It is a blessing what they do for so many people. They are a light in the midst of such darkness. God Bless them!

Say What???

2009-07-01T04:14:00.002-04:00

So, we are awating our birth certificate from Kazastan any day now. Ana was born in this tiny town and so our adoption documents had to go to two different places to get decreed, notarized and Apostilled. This of course takes time (three weeks now), after this it gets send to the main city and sent DHL to us. Well, as it turns out our paperwork was mailed to the main city without the court's decree. Somebody forgot to send it in the package along with everything else. Now, we have to wait until they send this before anything can proceed. Yeah, a stupid mistake that will cause us another week. My attorney says she doesn't understand how this could have happened? I told her, I almost expect it now. I guess this is a step in the right direction. I am now expecting things to go wrong. At least I won't be terribly dissapointed when they do. God is certainly working on my attitude!

Second Post

2009-06-30T11:13:00.005-04:00

Two in one day. Just had to write down a couple of more things. Since I last wrote I got word that our birth certificate will be delayed. Why am I not surprised??? That's right, it will take another week. I am not a person that suffers from depression, for this I am grateful. I know many people who do, so I truly empathize with those who do, because today I felt very depressed. So depressed, in fact I took a three hour nap! Actually, I made myself stay in bed and sleep. Then maybe when I woke, it would all be a bad dream! But of course, it isn't. Here I am again, another week.

At least it isn't snowing, only 80 degrees. I can deal with the heat much better than the snow.

The first picture is of the orphanage's "Singing Hearts". These girls go on missionary singing trips all over Ukraine. They sing very well.
The other picture is of Ana and some of her friends from the orphanage. She will miss them, I know.

Waiting on News...

2009-06-30T04:24:00.000-04:00

We are supposed to hear today about our birth certificate. It should be coming this week. I say this lightly because "Anything can happen in Ukraine"! I just hope it doesn't get lost in the mail. I feel like I am doing time. Literally, just waiting in a place I don't like very much. Tick..Tock..Tick Tock..

And it is very hot! On Sunday it was probably 90 degrees outside and inside well above. The service was 2 1/2 hours long. I can't believe no one fainted. I guess they are used to it.

I miss all of you very much!!!

Alphabet Soup and More!

2009-06-25T06:50:00.000-04:00

Every day we spend a little time learning English. I think Ana is doing quite well in understanding me and taking direction, so this is very encouraging. However, she has a harder time with the Alphabet. So many of their letters have a completely different sound than ours that it is very confusing to her. We are constantly going over the sounds of the vowels, which are so different sounding. This is so frustrating to her, and to me too. Today we spent an hour going over it again and again. I know it will probably all come together for her when she is immersed in the language, but I want her to get a little head start. We will continue doing both the Alphabet and the Rosetta Stone well through the summer until she starts school. I still don't know whether she will start 6th grade (which she is supposed to by her age) or be held back. I will take counsel from the teachers and administrators at her school and see what they recommend.

The people here have decided to give Ana a going away party this evening. She is so excited about this. I thought it was a little premature, seeing that we don't have the birth certificate in hand yet, but everyone is going on vacation here for 10 days and they want to make sure they have a party before we leave. This orphanage has a camp in the Crimea region and they take the kids there every year for their summer vacation. I think this is very nice.

This orphanage is unlike the state-run orphanages. I have experienced it first hand and also I have been reading many blogs about the conditions in the state-run orphanages. Very sad, indeed! This is nothing like that. They have developed a very good working system, where they place these kids in family-like units. Six kids live in a 5 bedroom apartment with a "Mom & Dad". They highly value the family unit here and believe this is essential in the healthy development of the child. Of course I agree and I have seen the fruit. You would never guess these kids were orphans. They are loved, nurtured, taught and disciplined as if they lived in a family already. They are being taught skills so they can be ready for adoption, if a family chooses them. They are also being prepared for life as an independent should they for any reason not become adopted and become adults.

I apologize for the long post, but I cannot speak more highly of this place. My prayer, and Ana's too, is that all these children find loving homes!

Discipline and Obedience

2009-06-23T03:56:00.000-04:00

I love these words. Anyone who knows me knows I'm the structure Queen. Everything has to have a place, a time, a reason. That's just the way God made me. Well, yesterday we had a first with Ana. A "Time Out". I don't know how they discipline kids here, but one of the ways Americans do is instituting a "Time Out". I have been observing Ana for a while now and I realized she does not like to just sit and do nothing. She's a kid that wants to be doing stuff all the time. So what better form of discipline for her than to institute the good old "Time Out"?

Yesterday, she said she was going to take our laptop next door and show some pictures to her friends. I told her to be back in 10 minutes. This would take some self-control and self-discipline because punctuality here is of little value, but I knew she is capable and I wanted to know if she would comply with the request. Well, to no surprise to me, she came back an hour later! At which time I gently placed her on the sofa and said, "When mom says come back in ten minutes, she means ten minutes. Now, you sit here 30 minutes". Of course she was shocked, but understood and did not complain one bit. She sat there quietly until 30 minutes had passed.

To her credit she knew she did something very wrong and she asked forgiveness afterwards. We have had no problems with sticking to a schedule since and she always tells me where she is going and asks me how long she can stay. She is a quick study!

A lotta catchin' up to do!

2009-06-22T10:32:00.000-04:00

Since we have adopted Ana at 11 years old, we have a lotta catchin' up to do! She is getting to know me and I her. We are together all the time, 24-7. It's a very good time of bonding. Many hugs, kisses and holding hands. In the picture above, we were just snuggling. She is a very touchy-feely type of girl. God knew to match her with me, 'cause I am too! I like pink, she likes pink. I hate bugs, she hates bugs. I like shopping, well, unfortunately she does too. She is very much like me. She is my daughter in so many ways, and she was born on the other side of the world and given birth by another woman. But, as we adoptive parents know, we love them just the same as our biological kids.

Here is an example I would like to share with you. After we had been given our adoption decree and she had been declared our daughter, we found out it was going to take some additional weeks for this whole birth certificate in Kaz deal. The orphanage Director said to us that we could go home and come back for her when all is done. We asked ourselves would we do that with our son, Jimmy? Could we leave him in another country for months without one of us staying with him?

We wouldn't do that with Jimmy, our son, and as you know, we haven't with Ana. She has been a joy to be with! Thank you God for giving her to us!

Sunday and Father's Day

2009-06-21T12:59:00.000-04:00

I love Sundays. It is my favorite day of the week. The time when I get together with my brothers and sisters in the Lord. The time when worshiping our God is the priority. We had a very nice time with our missionary friends at their church. Always a sweet time of fellowship with them! We will try to make it next week too.

I couldn't sleep today and woke up at 3:30 am. I was fortunate that my son was online at the same time and we were able to skype. I didn't even know it was Father's Day until I was at church. So to all the Fathers reading this blog---HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! Especially, to my Father and to my dear husband!

So, the week begins. Next Thursday I have been here almost 2 months! I can hardly believe it. I'm hopeful our documents will be seen and processed soon, but I don't want to think about it too much. We will just have to wait and see. Patience and more patience.

To all of you, have a great week!!!

Hangin' out at Independence Square

2009-06-20T21:18:00.000-04:00

We are in a holding pattern. Waiting until next week until the judge in Kaz decides to look at our documents. Until then, we are waiting, again. Attached are a couple of pictures of us and some dear friends from Kiev. We are in Independence Square. Everyone hangs out there. It' pretty nice. Today we also went to McDonald's and I bought Ana some Hello Kitty flip flops she liked. She was a very happy camper! By the way it is 4 am now and I'm blogging...??? Now you know I'm bored!

You do all things well...

2009-06-17T04:39:00.000-04:00

I was listening to this song by Chris Tomlin this morning on my Ipod and it help me to settle my nerves a bit. I sort of lost it a little yesterday. So this morning as I am listening to this, and after reading Philippians (I'm reading it every day) I have come to a point of resolved. I'm going to not fight it. Even though today I got an alarming call from my attorney saying it might take a month before our case is even looked at!!!

You do all things well...He does, so this is not a mistake. I just can't see what the reason is right now. I appreciate all your prayers and encouraging emails. I will keep you updated as I become aware of what is happening.

Some ranting

2009-06-16T10:35:00.000-04:00

There are times I wonder if I should stop blogging altogether. I don't want this to sound like I am whining all the time. But, I do want to keep a record of what happens and what I am experiencing so I go on. If you are tired of my complaining, please don't read on, because here it goes...

Got a call today, not from my attorney, but her assistant. My attorney had to fly out to Peru to help her husband on some legal matters. Before she left, she assured me everything would be taken care of by her assistant. Although a little hesitant about the whole thing, I had no choice. Her assistant now has our case.

In Kazastan, our documents are still on the judge's desk. He has been on vacation for a week and is just now sorting through the pile that he must attend to. Of course, when my attorney's assistant called she was told to call back at the end of the week. So, we wait another week. Maybe next week he'll get to it. But then, there is a good chance he will get sick, or there is some emergency in his family he needs to go to, or there is a holiday where no one goes to work, or a cat died...or maybe he will die. There is always a reason for these delays! All the while, we are stuck here until he decides to get to work!

Ok, so there was my rant.

Good Day Sunday!

2009-06-15T06:58:00.000-04:00

Yes, yesterday was a good day. Ana and I made our trek to church alone for the very first time. We took the bus and made it there just fine. It felt good not to have to depend on a ride from anyone. Ana has been worshiping at this church for as long as she has lived in this orphanage. She is quite comfortable there. They have translating sets so I could listen to the sermon, so this was good for me too. It is a Pentacostal church, so it is a little different in theology than what we believe, but I was able to worship God and that was what mattered.

After church we invited one of the social workers (Julia) that has been working with Ana out to lunch. We went to one of my favorite Ukrainian places. Ana wanted to go to McDonald's but I told her that there are many McDonald's in America and we should enjoy the Ukrainian restaurant while we are still here. So she agreed.

We came back to the orphanage just before it poured and we spend more time talking with Julia about the way things are with Adoptions here in Ukraine. I offered some advice about how I might help if any couples are interested in Adopting from America. I said I would talk to the Director about my ideas. I'll share more about this later, if possible.

All in all, we had a good day yesterday. Today I got an email from my attorney saying our case will be assigned tomorrow. It is still in Kaz, on top of some judge's desk, untouched. It has laid there for over a week.

All I can say, is that I am at peace that my Saviour has everything in His hands. And His timing is always perfect! I pray for patience and keep going.

Blah, Blah, Blah

2009-06-10T11:06:00.000-04:00

I got the blahs! Nothing really good to report yet. It is very hot today, maybe 90 degrees. I couldn't do my normal run this morning because of the heat. Spent a good hour on the Rosetta Stone with Ana. I highly recommend the program. Although it is quite pricey. Some missionary friends were kind enough to lend me the cd's until I leave. I have Ana practice every day for an hour. She is beginning to learn how to read in English. She recognizes the words, but the alphabet on it's own is hard for her. Some of the letters we have are completely different in their language so she gets confused. For instance the C is an S sound - very confusing. I'm not very hard on her now, because I know she will pick it up quicker once we are home. I have to be patient.

No news on the Bloody Birth Certificate! Since I am American I can say it and it doesn't sound like a bad word:)

Oh, last night I didn't sleep a wink. First of all, all of Kiev gathered by my window to have a party at around midnight. Then at around 3 am all of the dogs in the neighborhood got together for a concert that lasted an hour. So by 4 the sun was coming up and I just couldn't get to sleep anymore.

I read a blog from some people just arriving for an adoption. They were all excited to get here. I can't wait to go home! Home. The sound of it! There is no place like...Click,click,click. Close my eyes...click,click,click. Open eyes... Well, it worked for Dorothy!

What a face!

2009-06-06T13:56:00.000-04:00

I took this picture yesterday and I just had to post for all of you to see. Mom is bragging here!!! God picked us a most wonderful child. Not only is she beautiful on the outside but as well on the inside. And she is not alone. There are so many wonderful children here! I pray God will work in your hearts. I know there are some out there whom God will call for this. It is not easy, as you can read from my rantings, but it is so worth every bit of it! Ana and I pray that all these children will find homes. If you want some more info, please email me. I would love nothing more than to talk to you about this wonderful and exciting journey!

Tour in Kiev

2009-06-06T02:44:00.002-04:00

I'm so spoiled! When I heard we had been invited to take a tour of Kiev, I was thrilled! Got Ana ready and took the bus to the place where they said they would meet us and when we got there, there was no tour bus! This is a walking tour! And a subway tour. All in all we walked 5K and traversed 10K in the city. I heard all about the battles and wars Ukraine had won and lost, and how they were taken over by the Russians. We visited about 15 state buildings, including the president's house and cabinet and a couple of important Orthodox churches. I like history and really didn't mind the walking. But our guide walked really fast and I did NOT like the subway thing. I think I told you all before, I do NOT like people in my personal space!

It is 9:45 am here and Ana is still sleeping. That's OK, she was bored and took the whole history lesson well. It was a long day!

One Day at a Time

2009-06-04T04:51:00.000-04:00

Life moves at a snail's pace for me. The days are forever long and every day seems like the day before. That's why I haven't written lately.

Yesterday my attorney stopped to say that things are progressing well. I was a little encouraged by the news. I needed it. Thank you Jesus!

Maybe we'll be out of here in 3 1/2 weeks instead of 4 weeks. At least we're moving in the right direction.

Went to Kiev yesterday and bought Ana a few tops. She looks very cute in them. Can you tell I'm bored.

Please have a great day for me!!!

Love and miss you all!

School Picnic

2009-05-30T10:05:00.000-04:00

We're back from the school picnic and I just had to jot down some notes. Ana's class, teacher and a few parents attended this picnic. I didn't know where they were taking me, but it wasn't close. We walked about three miles and ended up inside what looked like ET's forest (sorry if you haven't seen ET). I don't really like picnics or camping or anything that has creepy crawlies but of course I had to check this one out. We laid out our blankets in the most awkward high grass and wouldn't you know it, I did see some of the ugliest creepy crawlies I ever saw. No one really seemed to mind the uninvited guests, except me and Ana! That's right she doesn't like them either! I watched her very carefully and she is just like me. Somewhat of an odd man out. Uncomfortable in these "People Situations" as I call them. Being around many people is difficult for me and it is for her too. Both of us were standing most of the time and trying to fit in, but mostly looking silly and awkward.

Ukrainians are different than Americans in many ways. As I watched, I realized they speak louder than we do. They are very animated and as quiet as I am even in English speaking gatherings, they really must have thought I was weird. At one point all of Ana's little friends gathered to ask me questions. Ana's teacher spoke some English, so she translated. They looked at me like I was an Alien. I had all sorts of questions posed. They even wanted to know how old I was. Of course I asked them how old did they think I looked? Well, these girls were either very sweet or I really do look like an Alien from out of space, because some said I looked 20???? They didn't even flinch when I told them I had a 20 year old son!

The parents brought a lot of food. And also vodka and wine - to a picnic at noon. Somehow they never pushed me to drink the stuff (don't know how they knew I wouldn't take it) but they did push me to eat. So, I prayed I wouldn't get sick, and I ate. Later I found out I ate some stuff I really shouldn't have, but it was done (you don't even want to know). As I write, I feel fine.

All in all, it was a good day. Ana had her mom at the class picnic and I wondered if that ever happened to her with her birth mom. My guess is no. These little things really matter to her - and to me. I'm happy to do them...even in a strange country with strange things all round me!

I look forward to doing all the wonderful and silly things we will do as a family once we get home!

Update

2009-05-30T01:00:00.000-04:00

This is a quick update for all of you. Our attorney says she thinks we will probably have to be here one month. Ok, so it is better than 5 months! I'm trying to adjust to that.

Time is not my friend. Days here are long. Sun is up at 4:30am and down at 9:30pm. Needless to say my old body needs a nap every day!

Good time spent with Ana. She is beginning to understand me more and more. There is good bonding happening.

I saw her school yesterday. There was a sort of last day of school celebration. Her school is very bare-boned. Classrooms are bare, gray and cold. Still using blackboards and sponges for erasers. I saw no books in the whole place. No books in a school??? Obviously tax money is not getting here (not in the infrastructure either). Maybe taxes don't exist in Ukraine?

Very sad school. Ana will be overwhelmed in her new school at home. Ana will LOVE Walmart. Ahhh... Walmart. I miss Walmart!

Talk to you soon...gotta go to a school picnic with Ana's teacher today.

Home Sweet Home

2009-05-29T10:04:00.000-04:00

By the time you read this, John would have reached home. Home, Sweet Home. It is Friday 5pm here and it is very noisy. Everything in Kiev is so different. I call it the upside down world. This means that whatever you think it may be, think of it in the opposite way and that is how it is done here. Or in my case, anything I see is the opposite of how it is at home.

For some reason, there is a celebration here at the orphanage. I am not invited, however. That's OK. I'm a little sick of all the Russian and the NOISE. I'm writing you from the offices, which now have been vacated to the banquet room, where everyone is at - except people like me, and the children. That's OK. The kids are playing outside and it is noisy outside too.

It was noisy last night as it is every night. People from the neighborhood gather outside our room and just "hang out" until the wee hours. My theory is that their homes are just not big enough to accommodate company so they meet at the corner. Or maybe because their winters are so cold and long that once it gets warmer they must go out - no matter if there is just nothing to do.

I love the serenity of my home. I miss it along with everything else in it, my son, my dogs, my bed, my car, my clothes (I've been wearing the same 5 changes of clothes for 5 weeks) and now I will miss my husband.

I hope and pray to be there with our daughter soon.

How long is it going to take?

2009-05-26T14:45:00.000-04:00

A question many of you who have done this before can answer. But, I can't. I am I glad I'm not in charge of this. God is fully in control. I can say this with confidence. Especially since it looks like I am staying here for a while longer than I had expected. John has to go back to work. He is leaving Thursday. I am staying here with Ana. He signed all the paperwork today at the US Embassy that he needed to sign so he can go home.

Why the wait? Let me put it into perspective for y'all. Back home if you need an original birth certificate ordered and sent to you, it would probably take maybe a week. A whole week, which includes mail delivery. I know this because I had to do this when I was compiling the documents for our Dossier. But in Khazastan (I don't care now how it is spelled) it can take up to 5 MONTHS!!!

Apparently, there has been a new legislature in effect this very month that changed the old system of easily accessing vital records. We as foreigners requesting our daughter's birth certificate must go directly to the highest court in that land. (I guess the Supreme Court in Kazastan doesn't have enough crimes to occupy their time that they need to worry about processing our daughter's birth certificate).

In any case, I am here waiting by the phone until our attorney contacts us about speeding the process. Of course, I covet your prayers for this. She doesn't think it will take 5 months, but she hasn't given us any time frame yet. She had suggested John and I both leave. I had to remind her that Ana has been decreed our daughter. And I am not about to leave my daughter in another country. She is coming home with me - regardless of how long it will take. I will keep you updated on how this all unfolds.

On a positive note, I am getting a bit used to going around in Kiev. I can take one bus which will take me all the way to the center - even if it takes 45 minutes. It is small and today we were all in there packed like sardines! People were very much in my personal space - a bit yucky for me. I can only imagine what it is like in the middle of summer.

Life with Ana is a true blessing! It seems like she is understanding me every day a little bit more. When John leaves she will share a room with me. This will be very good for both of us and really give me even more personal one on one with her.

Sorry this is long. I know I tend to ramble, but this time there was much I needed to tell you.

Thank you for going on this journey with me!

Until the next post!

Auschwitz

2009-05-23T03:55:00.000-04:00

This is a different kind of post. I told you how we were going to Poland. We actually took in a tour at Auschwitz. I think most of you reading this know about the atrocities committed there during WWII. I have certainly seen my share of documentaries before coming here. However, I must tell you nothing really prepares you for what it is like to see it for yourself. There is an odd eeriness surrounding this place. Someone said the whole place is a cemetery because the ashes have been scattered throughout. To hear about the torture, the inhumane living conditions and the breaking of the human spirit was hard to fathom. But as a Christian, I know that this exist in the human heart. And I also know this sinful condition and the bondage to it can only be broken by Christ. Unless we are changed from the inside by God, people are capable of this kind of hatred towards their brother. It was this very hatred that put Christ on the cross. Even today this kind of merciless killing is being carried out in other parts of the world. I think about Darfur now and how little is being done to stop the killing there. It is interesting to me how Auschwitz has been preserved to prevent this from reoccurring but it still goes on in other places on our watch. Genocide continues.

On a much more personal note, John has been emailing back and forth with his Dad Sam, who lives in Israel and is himself a Holocaust survivor. Sam told John his own father, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins all were murdered in Auschwitz. This made John experience this place on a whole different level. One I could not imagine.

New Delays

2009-05-21T11:55:00.000-04:00

Of course things can't go smoothly in this part of the world. Apparently, the town where Ana was born has never had to deal with an international adoption so they don't know how to process for her birth certificate!?........... Yea, that's what I said!? Our attorney has been working night and day reading the law that applies to both these countries and adoptions between both of them. She has been translating all our paperwork and will personally fly there and submit them and request the birth certificate. This means we will be staying in Kiev about two more weeks! I think John may have to return before me because he needs to begin processing for his next job. BIG PRAYER REQUEST...please pray our attorney can process all the paperwork without much delay and we can all get home soon!

In the meantime, we have decided to take a little vacation and take the sights in Poland. I am writing you from an internet cafe at the Kiev airport. Speaking of delays...our flight has been delayed 3 hours!!! Like I've been saying...Anything can happen in Ukraine!

I'll catch up with you later...

Waiting a little bit longer...

2009-05-20T03:20:00.000-04:00

Our attorney is on her way to Kazasthan (I still don't know how to spell it). She'll be back in a couple of days with Ana's birth certificate. Once we have that, we do the passport, visa, medical examination and tickets home! We hope to have that done in a week, but this is Ukraine and it can take a bit longer. As you can see, I have posted her picture, which should tell you all that as of yesterday she is officially our daughter. Yeah! Isn't she the cutest! We have decided to keep her name Anastasia and have added Faith as her middle name. We should have her new name processed once we get her birth certificate.

We are all very excited!!! I gotta go, John needs to do some work on this computer.

Love you all!

A Day with Babushka and Mickey D's

2009-05-17T11:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we took Ana and two of her friends to McDonald's about 40 minutes from the orphanage. Very close to McDonald's lived the woman she calls Babushka (grandmother). She is not her real grandmother, but this woman took care of her a couple of years before she was taken to the orphanage. Ana seemed to really want us to come see her. She wanted to say goodbye. This woman lives in this tiny one bedroom with her son (who was married to Ana's mom) and a grandson. The one who is disabled and we had that whole incident with the judge about. We took many pictures. There were friends of Ana still in the neighborhood. It was very sad to see where she lived and I was thinking about the immense change this little girl is about to experience. These are completely two worlds apart. I wonder how well she will adjust to the change.

On a different note, John and I really hate Ana's outfit, but she loves it. Earlier she was wearing very nice Jeans and a comfortable top, but had to change into this one she has on in the picture to go out. This culture has to "dress up" to go anywhere outside their homes. Hopefully she'll leave this outfit in Ukraine:)

Decision on Court Decree!!!

2009-05-12T15:11:00.000-04:00

After a long day of waiting, our attorney finally gave us the news that we have been praying for. The judge has given us the adoption decree provided she redo some of the documents that mentions Ana's brother. Where first all documents submitted mentioned that she had no family members, now these documents will reflect that she does indeed have a half brother. This half brother is not able to provide for her, nor does he want to so this needs to be mentioned also. With all this done, paperwork for her adoption will begin on the 19th and then the birth certificate, visa and passport will be next. We still have many things to do, but at least the courts have decided she can indeed be adopted by us! Thank you all for praying and I thank God for His faithfulness!

This past Saturday the orphanage hosted the Ambassador to the US. The children put on a play and Ana was a mouse. I've attached this picture. Very soon you will see what she looks like without makeup.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

2009-05-10T14:01:00.000-04:00

Although they don't celebrate Mother's Day here in Ukraine, I want to wish all my friends that are mothers a very happy day! I especially want to wish my mom a Happy Mother's Day! And to my son, I miss you very much, and love you very much! Thank you for a most wonderful 19 years of motherhood!

Back At Court

2009-05-09T05:52:00.000-04:00

3:00pm turned to 4:30 at the Courthouse and we had presented all the required documents to the Judge. We waited outside while our Attorney and the representative of The Father's House were speaking with the Judge in her chambers. We could hear the Judge yelling and we could detect by Ana's body language that it wasn't good. The judge was mad these papers were not submitted to her earlier and she decided she would consult with an appeals court on the matter. Which really means she wants us to sweat it over the weekend. So, here we are again waiting until Tuesday because Monday is AGAIN, a holiday for them. They have many holidays here. We will have her decision Tuesday morning at 8:30 or 9 or whenever she wants to give it to us. Punctuality is nonexistent here. Yet another thing that drives me crazy!

On a good note, we are having a wonderful time with Ana! She is a delightful girl. Always willing to please. I can't wait until you all meet her. Today some diplomat from America will be visiting and they are preparing a big musical presentation.

Please pray that God softens the Judge's heart and that she will give the adoption decree.

Thank you for all your support and all your prayers!

Barb

"Anything Can Happen in Ukraine"

2009-05-08T04:34:00.000-04:00

Famous last words...We had our court date and everything was fine when the judge asked us our questions, but then a problem arose when she asked Ana about any relatives. Seems she has a half brother and a lady she calls grandmother. Because these relationships were not clear to the judge, she wanted documentation saying that they approve of Ana's adoption. So we have to go back at 3:00pm with these documents. But first we must get them from these people. Our attorney is getting them.

I'll let you know what happens then.

Please pray for my attitude.

2009-05-07T16:16:00.000-04:00

"The Father's House". This is their website if you'd like to visit it http://www.otchiy-dim.org/en/contact.php

Court Date is Here!

2009-05-07T15:39:00.000-04:00

It is now 10:41 pm here at "The Father's House" and praise God, we finally got the water back. I took a shower today, yeah! The reason I got a little late in the bloggin' is because I ran out of money in our mobile modem and had to go and get it filled. The mobile modem keeps me connected to y'all! The thing is, we had to go 45 minutes on a bus today to get money (which gives us minutes) placed on our chip. The chip is connected to the mobile modem and the modem is then connected to my laptop. Going on a bus in Kiev is no easy task. First of all, we don't speak the language and they can't understand a word we say. Second, we can't read any of the signs, so we don't know what the streets are named or the town we are living in is called. I would say it is pretty gutsy for us to do that. We go all on faith that the Lord will get us there. And wouldn't you know it, today we get on a bus that happens to have an American girl on it. Her name is Michelle and she is engaged to a Ukrainian man. I plan on calling her next week and getting together.

Tomorrow at 9:00 am is our much anticipated court date. I'm a little nervous about it, but I don't really know why. Except, this is Ukraine and anything can happen. It looks like we will be staying here until the end of the month, and probably fly out the first week of June. We will know better in 10 days. There is still much to do. Our attorney is trying to get someone to get Ana's birth certificate from Kazasthan, we have to get her her passport, then a visa, then a medical examination and things around here move very slowly.

Today we had a great time with Ana. She spent all day with us after she came home from school. We went over a little English, she played a little on the laptop. We even sat down to dinner together, alone. It was like she has always been part of our family. She even helped me clean up afterwards. The language barrier doesn't seem to bother her. She makes herself understood.

Thank you for following along! I miss you all! Please pray we come home soon!!!

Take care,
With love and a bit nostalgic for home,
Barb

A Little Inconvenience

2009-05-05T06:09:00.000-04:00

As we wait on our court date and spend some time with Ana at the Father's House, I'm constantly reminded that there is no place like home. I miss the things we take for granted. For instance, since last night there has been no hot water and very little cold water. A pipe broke and they tell us they are fixing it. We won't know when that will be however. So here I am blogging to you all - without a shower. This wouldn't be so bad, except I went for a run this morning. Speaking of run, I guess they don't really do that around here, 'cause people were stopping their cars to stare. I also had to be careful where I was running, because these streets are all broken and I didn't want to break a leg. But I found a route that was decent. All was OK, until a German Shepherd escaped and jumped on me. I thought he was going to bite me, but I think he just wanted to play. Thank God!

Never a dull moment in Kiev!

At the Father's House

2009-05-04T12:35:00.000-04:00

We have moved into the Father's House. This is the orphanage that Ana has been in for four years. It is a Christian orphanage and she has been living with a family here that has loved her like her own. She shares a room with two other girls her age that are waiting for their documents to be completed so they too can be adopted. We have been given a room within a wing of the orphanage. We share the living room, kitchen and other common areas. John is pleased, at least he can watch the BBC in English. We will be here for at least 10 days. This week is our court date, but I don't know when it is. I'll let you know. Please pray I don't have to go to Kazasthan. This still looms over my head.

More On Clothes

2009-05-02T05:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we went back to our usual place to eat lunch and we were wearing our bright clothes again and both wearing caps. We noticed the waitresses there were laughing. There were about three of them huddled together and pointing and laughing. At first we didn't know why they were laughing, but then we realized they were pointing and looking at us! I admit I was a bit self concious at first, and embarrassed, but then I realized that we would be staring at them too if they were back home wearing what they wear out in the streets. Though, we would not be laughing.

In the picture, I'm drinking a latte, which are delicious here! That's the day they were laughing at us.

'till next blog...
God Bless

Happy May Day!

2009-05-01T03:34:00.000-04:00

It is May 1st and a Ukrainian Holiday. I don't know exactly what it is. We heard many fireworks going off last night, so I guess they are celebrating something. I'll try to ask later. In any case, no one is working today - or Monday. We will go visit Ana later and spend some time at the Orphanage. She is just adorable. Very eager to please and is always so happy to greet us. She is truly a joyful child even with everything she has gone through. Maybe later I can share with you but I feel like it is not right for me to give that kind of personal information right now. No one has told us everything yet either. It is so hard to get anyone here to tell you all you need to know. I feel like you are pulling teeth everytime I ask a questions. But before we leave here I will attempt to get someone to tell me more about her past.

It is cloudy today and it looks like it may rain. The temperature is nice - about 68 - 70. Most people are still over dressed in my opinion. They are still waring heavy coats. And their kids are still wearing hats! I don't get it. Back home a t-shirt, jeans and flip flops would be the standard. NO FLIP FLOPS here, nor have I seen anyone with t-shirts yet. I think people are staring at us because our clothes are much brighter. I have two pairs of capris that are blue and green and my tops are yellow, red, orange. These are colors that are rarely seen on people. They like blues & black colored shirts and sweaters and blue jeans with black shoes.

The pictures I have attached are the mall that we walk to almost everyday. We eat there and shop there in their huge supermarket - their Walmart.

Until next post...

Some Good Food!

2009-04-30T09:50:00.001-04:00

This is a typical lunch for us. On the left is John's plate: A bowl of Borsch, salad, salmon, liver, cream cheese and bread. My plate has Carp, flounder, white fish, tomato & cucumber salad with cheese and chicken salad. All of this for about $15.oo. You can eat very well, very healthy and inexpensively here. It tastes delicious too!

Waiting for Court Date

2009-04-30T03:42:00.000-04:00

I've been informed that we should be getting our court day next Wednesday or Thursday. Friday, May 1 and next Monday are legal Holidays here, so no one works. That adds an additional two days for us. We have been taken it easy, spending time with Ana and going to this inside Mall. The mall is a little stuffy though, they haven't yet turned on the air. OK, it really is the little things you miss that you take for granted. For instance, where we are staying, the running water comes out yellow and it doesn't really get hot until late in the afternoon. So we take cold showers. The streets are very dirty and dusty (muddy if it rains) so your shoes are filthy by the end of the day - and I feel disgusting.

Unlike some other nations, very few people here speak English and culturally Americans and Ukrainians are very different. We have a very rough time trying to communicate with people. And they have a very hard time trying to understand us. They often stare at us. We don't dress like them either. Their clothes are made differently. Ours is by far much better quality, yet theirs are not inexpensive. By comparison, clothes are expensive here for them. My friend told me Ukrainians spend more on clothes than on anything else. They would rather not eat well for a week, to buy a pair of shoes they want. Oh, and their stiles are, well...different than ours. Not at all what we mainstream Americans would wear. Women look like they are out of a "Fredericks of Hollywood" catalogue (if you know what I mean). The men look like the Russian Mafiosos. I think you get the picture.

We are going to an English Bible Study tonight. I'll write more later. Sorry this is long - just rambling, I guess.

Love,
Barb

Paperwork, Driving and More Paperwork and More Driving

2009-04-28T13:48:00.000-04:00

Oh...the traffic in Kiev is the worst I have ever seen! I have been in different cities and by far it IS the worst city for driving. We must have spent almost 5 hours in the car today going from office to office -- all in Kiev. This is not easy considering they drive like crazy and the roads are full of potholes. My body is sore and I haven't even been in a gym in four days! Good news is we got a lot done! Copies and notaries and officials for this and for that and social workers, everyone who is anybody had something doing with our documents. My attorney has a stack three inches high with everything about me, John and Jimmy all athenticated, translated and notarized.

I am now waiting to hear when and if I have to fly to Khazastan to get Ana's birth certificate. Actually, they tell me here that one ticket will cost $1000 one way! So I think we will be taking the train, which takes about two days. There is one outside chance that MAYBE we can hire someone to do a power of attorney for us. I don't know, but this is certainly a prayer request.

We spent about two hours at the orphanage with Ana today. I bought my laptop and a book on writing. I was teaching her the alphabet and then I let her play some educational games on the computer. She is very eager to learn English. I am very encouraged to see this. And she is picking up quickly. We will go again tomorrow to visit. I will try to take some pictures and download them for you to see. I took some today but they all have her in it and I still don't have clearance on posting her picture.

Oh, for those of you who want to know where we are, we are in Kiev. Thank you for writing!

Love,
Barb

One Step Closer!

2009-04-27T14:42:00.000-04:00

Dear Friends, Family and Fellow Heirs:

We have been given a referral letter and an approval to begin our adoption process with Anastasia. Praise The Lord! This is what happens next. Ukraine has a mandatory 10 day period where nothing happens except the adopting family spends time with the child. This is to ensure both parties agree to the adoption. Ana is all ready to be an American Girl, and of course we are just overjoyed. Thank you all for your faithful prayers! I will keep you abreast every step we take.

I'm hesitant to post any pictures of her until I get authorization from our attorney that I can do that. Ukraine is very picky about pictures of their orphans on the internet. And she is not officially our daughter. Not yet.

On that note, we heard that Ukraine is currently considering a moratorium on international adoptions. There is a bill circulating in their parliament and officials are discussing the pros and cons on the issue. I hope this does not pass. There are too many kids needing good, loving homes and Ukrainians are just not adopting them. If this passes, these kids will just languish in these institutions until they are of age and then be let loose on their own. Very sad indeed!

I've uploaded a couple of pictures for y'all. One is with John holding a book (when is he not?) he highly recommends. OK. The other is of us in front of the SDA (State Adoption Agency) office. Behind us we see a bunch of vendors ready to overcharge all unsuspecting foreigners - or knowing foreigners who don't mind paying 10 dollars for a trinket that really costs 10 cents.

Well, we didn't buy anything from them. Still looking for souvenirs though. The other picture is one with John in front of a very, very old church (maybe 800 years). I wanted to take pictures inside because it is quite ornate and elaborate in design but an older woman scolded me when I pointed the camera and escorted me to the corner of the church where she handed me a brochure with pictures in it. I had to buy the brochure if I wanted any inside pictures of this church. No thanks, the outside will do for now.

'Till next post...
Love,
Barb

2009-04-26T12:03:00.000-04:00

We had a very nice time of worship at our friend's church today. Brian and Heidi Kinzel have 5 kids and they have been missionaries to Ukraine for 16 years! Brian is a Master's Seminary graduate. Their service was in Russian and we had a translator. The message today was very convicting. Something to think about: Always think before speaking. And when speaking, make sure it is biblical. In order to do this one must be doctrinally sound and know what the bible teaches. I thank God for the reminder! I pray I can even use it on this blog. Even when things get difficult as they are sure to get. Pretty soon.

Very good fellowship afterwards too. Food was delicious! Absolutely, without a doubt, food tastes much better in Ukraine. Must be that we have all these additives and perservatives in our foods as well a pesticides in our produce.

Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. Please know that it encourages us that you have us in your prayers and in your thoughts. I read all your comments!

We plan on visiting Ana tomorrow after our meeting with the State. We can't see her until afterwards, if they allow us to. This is their rules so we will abide by their request and wait. Now exercising one fruit of the spirit...Patience.

Until next time.
Barb

Greetings from Kiev!

2009-04-25T09:32:00.000-04:00

It is 4:20 pm here in Kiev. I have been up for more than 24 hours. Yes, I cannot sleep on planes. So, I'm trying hard to stay awake until it gets dark. As you can see SOME PEOPLE decided to go to sleep, but he'll regret it when 3 am comes around and he's wide awake not knowing what to do. That's what happened to us last time. It was awful. The jetlag took days to wear off.

We met with our attorney earlier and she gave us this nice little gadget to install on my laptop so I can be in touch with y'all mostly anytime. Tomorrow we'll attend our friend's church. They are missionaries here in Kiev and they have bee very kind to us while we do what we came here to do. As far as Ana's concern, we have our meeting set with the state for Monday at 2:00pm. One sticky thing came up. She happens to have a Khazastan (sp?) birth certificate. She was born there and shortly brought to Ukraine. This means that one of us will have to travel there to sign papers for her to be released. Since our attorney has to go with us and she is a woman, that fortunate someone to go to beautiful Khazastan is ME!

I'll keep you updated on Barb's (excellent) adventure in Khazastan!

Ready, Set...

2009-04-23T08:21:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow we are leaving for Kiev. Next week we will have an appointment with the SDA (government officials) who will advice us on the girl we are requesting. This will be our second appointment. The first one was a disaster. If you want to have nightmares, you can read about it on my earlier posts. The second appointment was to ask for this one particular girl. When we asked about her she was not available for international adoption. Until now. That's why we are back! Until things solidify and we get clearance regarding her name and status, I won't mention too many specifics. Once we get passed all the red tape I'll begin taking pictures and giving you more details.

Hey, one good thing...NO SNOW!!!